How much “stress” can your heart handle?
That’s the question as we begin the month of hearts — February. To answer, I’m not suggesting you get on a treadmill for a few minutes of cardiovascular testing (although, it’s not such a bad idea).
Rather, I pose the question because I think that beyond the romantic, our personal and professional “affairs,” consciously or not, are heart felt. Stress finds its origins in our conflict between how much we control falling in, falling out, and experiencing these affairs.
Although they were first uttered by their “screen” characters years ago, two quotes have always resonated with me as an accurate reflection of the [hyper]tension between protecting and not protecting your “heart.”
On one end of the spectrum, there is Sarah Jessica Parker in her role as Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw:
I am someone who is looking for love…real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t live without …love
On the other end, Hugh Grant in his role as Notting Hill’s Charles Thacker:
“I’m a fairly level-headed bloke—not often in and out of love. Can I just say no…and leave it at that? The thing is…I’m in real danger. It seems like a perfect situation—but, my relatively inexperienced heart, would I fear, not recover if I was once again cast aside, as I would absolutely expect to be….”
Granted, in these scenes, a personal relationship inspired the character’s dilemma. The scenes, however, also reveal the stress and stretch that any new opportunity for “loving” [a person, OR of place, OR thing] produces.
- Do we say, as “Carrie” does, “bring IT on” and open our arms (literally and figuratively)? OR,
- Do we cross our arm in defensive posture (literally and figuratively) and say, like “Charles,” “I’m not so sure my heart could handle IT so no thanks?”
While perhaps it feels “easier” to pick one of these two options, cardio fitness, of this nature, requires a different regimen. Too much “effort” in love may render our muscles forever injured Too much “resting” may render us forever out of shape. What Carrie, Charles and perhaps all of us need is a treadmill to test the limits to our passions, regulating the speed, weight, climb, and duration of our encounters with new “love” interests. With incremental valve adjustments, we learn that our hearts can indeed become stronger and healthier.
Only you can define your untapped “passion” – a new role in life or work, an opportunity for adventure, an untested interest. Your willingness, readiness and ability to manage its highs and lows ultimately depends on the condition of your heart. If you agree, perhaps the following questions will help you exercise new thoughts and actions:
- What new “person, place, or thing” inspires passion in you?
- What’s the outcome you seek in this “relationship?”
- What can you do to stretch your heart muscles and test this “love.”
- What are the “warning signs” of heart damage?
- How do you ultimately cultivate heart fitness?